Ellen S. Robbins

Ellen S. Robbins, of Spencer Road died Friday, July 28, 2006 in Montgomery, NY. She was 53. She was born October 25, 1952 in Spring Valley, a daughter of Irving and Lillian Varon Bauman. She received her bachelor’s degree from Cornell Univeristy and her master’s degree from the University of Vermont. She was a professor and chair of the English Department at Ulster County Community College. She was a member of the National Council of Teachers, a founder and coordinator for Woodstock Wonder Works, a volunteer for Family of Woodstock and had been active in the Onteora PTA. Surviving in addition to her parents of Davie, FL is her husband, Dr. Chester Robbins, two sons, Joseph of South Boston, MA; Nathaniel of Glenford; two sisters, Nancy Friedman of New York and Jayne de Gant of Stratford, CT. Two nieces also survive. Funeral services were conducted at the Woodstock Jewish Congregation on Sunday, July 29, 2006 at 11:00 am. Rabbi Jonathan Kligler officiated. Interment was in Woodstock Cemetery. Memorial contributions may be directed to Ulster County Community College Foundation, Inc., Cottekill Road, Stone Ridge, NY 12484. http://sunyulster.edu/Foundation/Give.asp ------------------------------- Eulogy by Rabbi Jonathan Kligler: We are gathered here today in shock, sadness and dismay to say farewell to Ellen Robbins, and to offer the love and comfort we can to her wonderful family, and to all of us, her friends, colleagues, students and community, who relied on, counted on, and enjoyed her very special presence in the world and in our lives. This is a time when any words we share will be insufficient, and yet we will speak, if only that the sound of our voices might communicate our love and concern. Even when words fail us, may we not shy away from offering our quiet presence to those grieving, as we stand with them at the edge of this abyss. Ellen is survived by her loving and loved family: Her beloved husband of 30 years, Chester, her two wonderful sons Joe and Nate, her parents Lillian and Irving Bauman, her sister Nancy and her husband Arthur, her sister Jayne and her husband John and their children Bethany and Melissa, and many cousins. Ellen¹s life and her presence in her family¹s and community¹s life were immense, and I will not even pretend to capture her accomplishments or all of her talents and attributes in this short tribute, but can only give you an impression of the life affirming quality that she brought effortlessly and conscientiously to the world. Ellen was born October 25, 1952, and spent her early years growing up in Bauman¹s Hotel, the resort hotel in Spring Valley that her parents owned and ran, and Ellen¹s grandparents before that. A classic ³middle child², as her family describes her, Ellen made connections and brought people together from early on. She met Chester at Cornell in 1971 and they were married in 1976. They spent a year traveling around the world, and then Joe came along and it was time to settle down. Nate was born 3 and 1/2 years later. Ellen and Chester just returned from a wonderful 2-week trip to Italy to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary. As Chester told me, He and Ellen tried to live life together as fully as possible. Our hearts are breaking with yours Chester, our sadness knows no bounds. We know that you will find a way to go on, as you must, walking without her, but her loss overwhelms us all. Joe and Nate are the kind of boys my grandmother would have held up to me as examples of what I should really be doing with my life. I have known them since they were pretty young, and officiated at their Bar Mitzvahs. They have always been courteous, engaging and wonderful. Joe is entering Harvard Business School, and Nate is heading into Albert Einstein Medical School. They are the best. My grandmother would also have approved of their wonderful respective girlfriends Emily and Debbie. I am glad you, Joe and Nate, each have such wonderful partners to comfort you during this devastating time. Ellen loved Emily and Debbie, she loved having some additional female energy in her house after so many years of handling a male household. Ellen loved that her family was expanding and certainly loved the prospect of her sons growing up into such fine men who are beginning the process of fashioning families of their own. Ellen was a connector. She made things happen. She was the glue ­ of her family, her workplace, any project she undertook. She was a natural leader. (She was even president of the student body at her high school.) She was brilliant. She was talented. She was principled. She was modest. As Joe said to me, if she was here today, she would be writing the eulogy, no questions 'I'll write it' is what she would say. Ellen was the most wonderful daughter, her parents wanted me to know. Ellen had a beautiful voice and was an accomplished folk singer and guitarist. She would go out of her way to make everyone comfortable, and as her boys told me, because of Ellen their¹s was the house that all their friends lived at. Ellen was passionate about everything she did, whether it was her flowers or her students or quoting poetry or her community projects. Ellen possessed an innate and keen passion for justice, she possessed a need to make things right. One might describe her as approaching every situation with the question 'How should things be here, and how are we going to make it that way?' Ellen also practiced generosity, and considered that to be a quality that had to be consciously nurtured and developed. At Ulster County Community College, where she began teaching in 1989, she had progressed in her unassuming way to become the chair of the department of English and Philosophy. People turned to her for leadership, but she refused purely administrative jobs, because teaching was so important to her, and she cared about her students so deeply. And the Woodstock Wonderworks Playground, which Ellen initiated and saw through to completion stands as a testimony to Ellen¹s ability to organize, lead, inspire and improve everything she touched. I hope the other speakers will say more about Ellen¹s accomplishments. Accidents happen, and when we hear of untimely deaths we hold our breaths and give thanks that it was not a member of our family. But this time it is a member of our community, and our family that has been struck down, and we, the living, must go on without her. Ellen¹s death and now her absence leave a gaping wound in the souls of those that knew her, and the wound is of course the most grievous in her family, where her life and theirs were one fabric, now rent. It is small consolation, but can be said, that wounds do eventually heal. However, it takes a long time, and healing is slow. Also, even when the wound is closed and life feels worth living again, there will always be a scar, an ache, for this beloved and irreplaceable woman. Such is the way of this world of light and shadow, where grief and life are inextricably intertwined. May we surround each other with love, now and forever. ------------------------------- Eulogy delivered by Nate: Well, I think everyone here agrees how inadequate words are in describing a being, a dynamic human being. Ours is an inexplicable grief. But just as I know my mom would be the one here right now reading a poem or something she had wrote, I just want to nip around the edges. My mom’s capacity for love and emotional depth was enormous. She gave everything she had to her family, friends, and students. Other people’s happiness drove her own. I would bring my friends home from school and she would cook the most fabulous meal with fresh ingredients, and she would fret about every single detail of the colors of serving platters. We who ate corn dogs and drank Gatorade- she would go that extra effort to make us happy, just as she would stay late in the afternoon for a student who needed her, just as she would fly to Florida or drive to Willow in the middle of the night for any number of people who she loved so dearly. And this is the selfless love that really sets her apart from the crowd. She brought it to her friendships, students, family, and of course, her husband. She must have carried any number of secrets to the grave, because I know many people who would confide in her and only her, because she was as attentive and compassionate as anyone. She would listen to a crying friend for hours, then get off the phone and grade papers well into the night and be playing guitar or laughing over coffee with my dad when I woke up in the morning. She had a boundless energy based in limitless devotion, and I know she inspired a generation of young people here today. The two most fundamental tragedies of her death are that she will not be here to see all that happens with the future—weddings, grandchildren, for me, my brother, my cousins. And of course that this next generation will not grow up with such an unbelievably caring, thoughtful, joyous presence to light up every second of our lives, and that she will not be here to teach us. There’s so many clichéd feelings running through us—it’s unfair, I don’t believe it. This is a tragedy among tragedies. But if we take one good thing away from it, it is the importance of enjoying life, and life’s precious little things. Her and my dad went on so many amazing trips, though India and communist Russia and Kenya, and just recently to Italy for their 30th Anniversary. And while these trips will never be the same, to honor her memory, we will go on embracing these adventures and enjoying our time with family and friends and playing music and giving to others and laughing. She would be smiling her wonderful smile to see all of these loved ones gathered together. Thank you so much for being with us. ------------------------------ Eulogy delivered by Judy Dagirmanjian: There are no words. In the past two days, in a futile attempt to grasp the enormity of this tragedy, that one sentence has been spoken, or its sentiment deeply felt, by everyone who loved my beautiful friend, Ellen. When I considered standing here today and what I possibly might say, I realized I had lost the ability to access the thoughts and emotions that floated in and out of my consciousness long enough to form a coherent sentence, never mind construct a narrative about Ellen. There are no words to describe this loss. And yet, because Ellen loved words from the time she was a little girl, and brilliantly used words to educate, illuminate, influence, guide and profoundly touch us, I knew I had to find the words. What helped me at 5:00 this morning was wondering what Ellen might say about my struggle to find the words. 'What would Ellen say to me right now?' Well, she would say as she often said to me, 'Judy, stick to what you know'. So I will stick to what I know about Ellen. I know that Ellen was the kindest, most giving person I have ever known. In whatever context each of us knew Ellen, she brought the same remarkable qualities to each relationship. In any conversation with Ellen you had her undivided attention and in that moment of interaction, it was only you and Ellen. Being the bright, competent, analytical, insightful, organized person she was, she helped you get right to the heart of the matter, understand what was really at stake, consider a course of action, and most importantly, communicate her belief in your own capacities to negotiate even the most difficult of life's challenges. I know that Ellen held herself and others to high moral standards. I know that Ellen could be tough (some might even say a bit stubborn at times) when a situation required standing up for what she believed in. Ellen was not afraid to do the difficult, right thing. I know that Ellen cared deeply about the well being of others, including those who suffered as the result of ignorance and injustice and whose life trajectory was different from her own. I know Ellen loved teaching and felt most energized and alive when she was in front of her class. I know Ellen relished those private, one on one conversations with students who sometimes in their writing revealed personal struggles and turned to Ellen for advice and guidance. I know these students turned to the right person. I know Ellen loved literature, and poetry and Shakespeare, and at any given moment could spontaneously launch into her favorite passage with fervor and complete recall. I know Ellen loved music and knew the lyrics of every song ever written by man or woman. I know Ellen encouraged all of her friends to make music as well, and how much she loved the music she made with her family and close friends. I know how much Ellen valued her friendships; Woodstock friends, friends from book group, baby group, friends of Joe and Nate's that over the years became her friends as well, colleagues at SUNY Ulster, and long ago friends from childhood. I know Ellen loved my sons, Sam and Jacob and George and Kristie's son, Nicholas. I know how much Ellen loved her parents, Irving and Lillian and sisters, Nancy and Jayne, and brothers-in-law, Arthur and John and her nieces, Bethany and Melissa. I know that family mattered more than anything in the world to Ellen and how happy she was that she was able to to give her family to Chester. I know Ellen loved Annapurna, Cole, Percy, Sally, Pepper, Molly, and Cappy. I know Ellen deeply loved Chester and that they shared a marriage built on respect, reciprocity, kindness, compatibility, adventure, humor and doing what they loved most and did best, parenting Joe and Nate. I know how much Ellen loved Joe and Nate and how proud she was of them for their integrity and goodness, as well as their accomplishments. I also know how much Ellen missed Nate and Joe, occasionally agonizing over some of their decisions, but always reminding herself, '...leave them alone and they'll come home'. I know there will be forever an empty space in each of us, but along side that empty space rests whatever piece of Ellen we cherish most. I know that piece of Ellen will be there for us to take comfort from and hold steadfast whenever we need it. I know that Ellen's life was a life well lived. I know that following Ellen's example is the only meaningful way to remember her and make a difference in this world. ----------------------------- Eulogy delivered by Donald Katt: When we got the message at about 9:30 Friday night, I had these immediate reactions: •Shock – not Ellen! •What an incredible, bizarre, tragic occurrence. •Why do bad things happen to good people? •And, what an unbelievable person she was, and what a loss to SUNY Ulster. I’d like to talk about the last two. Ellen and I both grew up in Rockland County – albeit that she was in grade school in Spring Valley when I graduated from Pearl River High School. Ellen graduated from Cornell University, magna cum laude, and earned her Masters Degree from the University of Vermont. Before joining the faculty at SUNY Ulster in 1990, Ellen served as a staff writer at the Huntington Daily News, an 8th grade English teacher, and a 10th grade literature and speech and drama teacher. For about ten years she was a freelance medical writer and editor for physicians’ trade journals and continuing education supplements. Ellen started part-time and filled in for a sabbatical leave in the fall of 1994. When we were able to add a new full-time position in English in January 1997, there was no contest. Everyone agreed that we had to get Ellen. As reported in the Sunday Freeman, Ellen was promoted in 2001 and again in 2004. I am sure she would have been promoted to Full Professor next year. To reach that highest rank in just eleven years is quite remarkable. But Ellen was just that: quite remarkable! Ellen was a consummate teacher. She was competent, talented, creative, well organized, and truly nurturing. Her peer and student evaluations were always stellar. These are some of the descriptors students used: She is an awesome teacher…. One of the best teachers I have had…. She is a sweet, wonderful and experienced teacher…. She is caring, helpful, and extremely knowledgeable…. She makes coming to class a true joy. She is a brilliant instructor. I saw that first hand when my own son had Ellen for ENG 102. I was the Academic Dean then, and as I have said before, seeing the type of liberal arts education my son was receiving at SUNY Ulster, was extremely gratifying. Ellen’s class was no exception. I still remember her assignment to compare and contrast two of Hemingway’s essays. One of her goals in teaching was “to get students excited about ideas.” She stressed effective writing and critical thinking. I truly believe my son received that from Ellen. Ellen became Department Chair in 2002 and appeared to perform her duties effortlessly. She was a natural leader. She brought to her administrative tasks the same qualities that made her such a marvelous teacher. She was diligent, talented, and competent. She was also nurturing with both her students and her colleagues. Ellen was a woman of stature. She always impressed me as a self-assured professional while always exuding caring and support. I will always remember the well crafted introductions she gave for our visiting poets. They were well thought out and delivered with a sincerity that made you feel that she knew the poet personally. I still remember her introduction of Jane Hirshfield who attended Princeton University at about the same time as Ellen was at Cornell. I couldn’t help but think how these two intelligent women became so successful – Jane writing poetry in San Francisco and Ellen sharing her love for literature with thousands of students at SUNY Ulster. One of my fondest experiences at Ulster as President was the afternoon I had the privilege to have lunch with my wife, Ellen, Gail Godwin and Joyce Carol Oates. I think I was on a high for several weeks. There we were for more than an hour – the two internationally acclaimed novelists sharing their experiences and Ellen and Linda sharing their experiences in the classroom. Talk about felling inadequate. I was definitely out of my league and Ellen made SUNY Ulster and its students sound so vibrant and student success in writing so vital. I will always remember Ellen’s smile. It was infectious. Whenever I would stop by or pass her in the hall there was always the smile. I always interpreted it as saying, “I am so fortunate to have this job, and I love what I do.” Rabbi Harold Kusher wrote When Bad Things Happen to Good People in 1981as a reaction to personal tragedy when his son passed away. There is a section addressing “no exception for nice people” and in it we are told, Laws of nature do not make exceptions for nice people….God does not reach down to interrupt the workings of the laws of nature to protect the righteous from harm…. God does not cause it and cannot stop it…. Nature is morally blind, without values. It churns along, following its own laws, not caring who or what gets in the way. If I were a religious school teacher here, or at a church, or a mosque, if asked why Ellen was taken away, I would probably say: “Because God needed another angel.” As a College President, I would say, “If that is true, I would recommend no need for orientation – for Ellen has already earned her wings.”