Belle Ruth Werbalowsky

Belle Ruth Black Werbalowsky Reflections Born on October 10, 1918 in Flushing, Queens, NY, Belle Ruth Black was the eleventh of twelve children. When Belle was three, her parents, Louis and Molly Black, moved the family to a picturesque dairy farm in Ulster Park, NY. Unfortunately, Belle’s father died while fighting a fire on the farm when she was five years old. Being of solid stock, the family persevered to keep the farm alive. Here is where Belle learned the meaning of hard work, independence, persistence, a positive attitude, and family spirit. On the farm, the seed was planted for Belle’s lifelong love of nature. During WWII, Belle worked in a munitions plant in Bridgeport, CT, joining millions of patriotic Americans in the war effort. After that, she and her husband, Mort, moved back to Kingston, NY where they raised their three sons, Louis, Paul, and Allen, and daughter, Iris. Belle and Mort’s home and lawn were always the center of lively conversations, delicious meals, and festive times lovingly shared with dear friends and family. Belle’s community dedication was expressed in the family synagogue, Congregation Agudas Achim, the Sisterhood, Hadassah, and as Founding President of the George Washington School PTA. Throughout the years, Belle worked as a salesperson. Walking door to door, she sold Avon and received their Woman of Achievement Award. For twenty-two years, she worked at Flah’s and B. Forman Company where she was the top salesperson in nineteen New York State stores. Belle jokingly said that she was “forced into early retirement” at age 77 when the stores closed. Eleven years after her beloved husband, Mort, passed away, Belle moved in 1999 from NY to MA to live closer to her daughter, Iris, and “favorite son-in-law”, Ted, whom she loved as a son. For two years, Belle enjoyed Orchard Hill Assisted Living Community in Sudbury. For over two and a half years, Belle enjoyed being at home in both the Deaconess-Chamberlin and Rivercrest communities of the New England Deaconess Association in Concord. Belle loved her MA homes in the country, and appreciated the peaceful scenery and people. A visit with her was an opportunity to share cherished photos, stories, and memories, further linking past and present. Belle had long enjoyed cooking (and even worked as a caterer), gardening, poetry, and music. Memories of professionally singing always brought a smile and a song. Belle’s genuine caring for others and her sense of humor were blessings in her life. People were first for Belle…She was happiest when she could say, “I made them laugh”. She is still the “Belle of the Ball” to many…”Beautiful Belle”…a real inspiration. Belle lived her values. Respect was her compass. She spoke her mind. Belle faced adversity with the same inherent strength and resilience developed at an early age. Her light touched us with warmth and uplifting hope. With love for her faith, friends, and family, including her sister Adele, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren, Belle lived each day as a mensche…with compassion, understanding, and a kind heart. Recalling Belle’s love of nature and its connection with our lives, it feels right that G-d and she chose the spring for her passage. This is a time for new beginnings. As the Hudson River was the backdrop for so many years of her life, the Charles River reflected the sun’s radiance on the day Belle crossed her bridge to eternal life with G-d, Mort, and all of our loved ones. As with all transitions and journeys, Belle would say to us, “Be Well”. With love and shalom, you are always in our hearts. Beloved wife of the late Morton Werbalowsky who died November 21, 1988; loving mother of Louis M. Werbalowsky and Beverly Perlman, Paul Werbalowsky, Allen Werbalowsky and Cecelia Moore, and Iris Werbalowsky Barten and Ted Barten; loving sister of Adele Kreppel and the late Grace Kirschner, Mildred Wilkinson, Louis Holen, Anna Levine, Maurice, Samuel, Harry, Jean Rae, Paul and Sidney Black; grandmother of Scott, Daniel and Andrea Werbalowsky, Jason Werbalowsky and Kimberly Rougeux; Andrew Perlman and Lisa Aidlin; Lisa Perlman and David Kaufman; great grandmother of Maya and Brynne Aidlin-Perlman. She is survived by a large extended family, nieces and nephews. Funeral services were conducted at Simpson – Gaus Funeral Home, 411 Albany Ave., Kingston, NY, Rabbi Y. Yitzchok Hecht officiated. Interment was in Montrepose Cemetery, Kingston, NY. ---------------------------------- In Belle's memory, contributions may be made to Congregation Agudas Achim, PO Box 3573, Kingston, NY 12402 or the 'New England Deaconess Assoc.' Rev. Herb Taylor, 80 Deaconess Rd., Concord, MA 01742. ----------------------------------- A life so fruitful, vibrant and free A face with a smile, laughter and glee That hair, so perfect That laugh so memorable That spirit, so lively That soul Irreplaceable Time for you, time for me Time for everyone she made The time she had for herself Was advice to you and me I know I'll miss The card games we had The seven course meals and The candy we couldn't have Bubby we love you and miss you But we know that you are Where you want to be You are with Papa Morty now So be sure to check your hair And be sure to laugh and smile Because from this day forth Your spirit lives on and your soul is free Jay Werbalowsky March 28, 2004 ----------------------------------- Belle’s sister, Adele, would like to share this poem. Growing up with their family on a dairy farm in the Hudson Valley, this poem reminded them of their heritage…In recent years, they would recite it together over the phone. Life Is A Garden By Frances Culp Wolf Our life is like a garden that needs constant, loving care. There are woes that doth beset us, things that make life seem unfair. We need so much cultivation to produce a steady start, With a vast supply of sunshine that will warm the coldest heart. When wind and rain approach us, we should grip with all our might. The water is greatly needed for our growth and sturdy height. Our deeds are bright as flowers and our prayers help clear the way. Every kindness that is rendered will help make a brighter day. So tend your garden daily, remove all the useless weeds. Then look for G-d’s assistance to bless and meet your needs. ----------------------------------- Belle Werbalowsky Eulogy April 3, 2004 What a gift Belle was to our community. Belle - her name means beautiful - and she was a beautiful person. Even through the challenges of her life her beautiful spirit always shone brightly. I only knew Belle for a glimpse of her years - but even in these last couple years, you could see that spirit that was strong within her. What a kind, affirming, and beautiful woman who would always ask how you were or say how nice you looked. The Deaconess family, my own family, were blessed to share these years with her. I know that there were many challenges over these last few years with her illness. We all wish that we could have a magic wand to make the people we love feel better. But we don¹t have that. What we do have is a promise from God that God is with us through whatever we face. Not just a God of the good times. Belle knew that. Her faith was deep in the God of all generations. In a God that has led his people through very difficult times. She would want you to know she is in good hands today. She would want you to know you are in good hands too. Our newsletter is called Abundant Life. Belle understood about abundant life. Didn¹t she have a great smile, a beautiful laugh. And her love overflowed, especially upon her family. Represented so well in the connection I saw between her and Iris. How blessed both Belle and our community were by Iris sharing this journey with her mother. Life is a journey, ups and downs, mountaintops and valleys, twists and turns - but how much better that journey is when you share it with special people. I know her family continues on this journey with Belle. And so does her Deaconess family. She has left us in body, but not in spirit. I don¹t even have to close my eyes to feel her spirit alive in this place. Her smile, her laugh, her spirit will echo within this place, because it reverberates in our hearts, it will brighten the lives of others in the way it is reflected from us, it will live in our lives. Rev. Herb Taylor CEO, New England Deaconess Association ----------------------------------- Mensche In Iris’ beautiful “Reflections” of her Mother, she used the word, Mensche. It is a strange word to our ears, but a word that defines Belle’s beautiful life for us. It is a word she and I shared in many conversations. I was honored and humbled that she thought of me as a mensche. A very limited translation of the word is “A true man.” It is really much deeper than that. A mensche is an authentic person, true to self, to others, and to G-d in all thoughts, deeds, and relationships. Belle was a mensche. In the Ancient Law Book we read: “Hear O Israel, the Lord Your G-d is One. You Shall Love the Lord Your G-d with all your heart and mind and soul and strength. You Shall Teach these words to your children when you are at home and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house.” With such deep devotion to her faith and patient wisdom to her family, Belle was a mensche. Shakespeare wrote this advice: “To thine own self be true: and it follows, therefore, thou canst be false to anyone.” With such understanding of integrity and honesty toward all she met, Belle was a mensche. Jesus, with passion for his ancestors’ faith and rabbinic wisdom, taught: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” With such fairness and respect, as fine as pure gold, Belle treated everyone, a true mensche. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” With such compassion to those close to her, Belle was a mensche, a woman of G-d. And now we say goodbye…G-d be with you, Belle…You have left us a beautiful path to follow, a righteous life to live, and an undying spirit to emulate and share with one another. You truly are, our mensche. Amen Eulogy given by Rev. Frank Gulinello, Jr Chaplain New England Deaconess Association Memorial Celebration of Life Service April 3, 2004 ----------------------------------- 4/04/04 when the waves of loss and mourning begin in full tidal crashes against the mortal soul like whiplashes upon the bare heart still left beating bereft and almost bleeding- no prayer, no tears, no moans of lamentation can ever fill the void remaining by the passing of a loved one held so dear-as surreal time begins its ticking the surviving ones have but fleeting memories to shield the psyche until the tears subside and the emptiness begins to ease itself in a candle's flicker in a soft breeze-in a gentle touch of remembrance until we can say goodbye and move a bit forward waiting with our human hope that we will meet again somewhere out there in G-d's eternal eyes. by paul werbalowsky __________________________________ To my dear friend Belle, Do you believe in coincidence? I don't. A great rabbi once said that coincidence is what G-d does when He wants to be anonymous. A week or two ago, I was going through some old papers. I came across the notes I had written for my eulogy for your beloved husband Morton. I pointed out that Mort was a person who had great appreciation for the gifts that G-d had given him. I mentioned that he was a man who knew how to laugh at himself. A few weeks before he died he mentioned to me, in a light-hearted fashion, his list of health problems. 'What else could go wrong?' he seemed to be asking, with a smile. I am amazed, in thinking back to our years together, to realize how much the two of you were alike. I remember hearing you talk about problems with your heart and your eyesight, and how it affected your ability to work. I remember your appreciation of G-d. And your laugh! Your loud, gutsy, contagious laugh! You loved your family, you loved your friends and you loved life. You were always concerned about the well-being of your children and grandchildren. Your love for them was unconditional. Those around you returned that love. You were a friend to me as well. I will never forget that night, at the end of your dear husband's life, when you, Iris, and I waited together with Morton for the end. That night, and the following day when he finally passed away, I think the three of us forged a special friendship that will never die. Judaism teaches that G-d rewards the righteous for their good deeds. May G-d welcome you into the Garden of Eden where you can spend eternity with your dear husband. Starting this afternoon, I plan to recite the Kaddish every day for the next eleven months in your memory. May you have peace. Good-bye, my dear friend. With all my love and respect, Rabbi Seplowitz ___________________________________ When I came here four years ago, I was frightened and sad and angry and very much alone. Then I met a very remarkable woman who shared instantly the understanding and warmth that I so needed. Belle Werbalowsky. There she was with her beautiful daughter…and we became friends. Yes, she is gone now, but she will remain with me, as she will with the many of us who were privileged to know her. Betty Roberts ----------------------------------- LITTLE THINGS By Helen Lowrie Marshall Dear G-d, please give to me A thankful heart for little things – For sunshine on my kitchen floor, For news the postman brings, For memories in the making, Things the children do and say, That I will smile about, perhaps, Some future, lonelier day. Grant me appreciation Of the small joys that are mine – The children’s birthday parties, My honeysuckle vine; The clean, fresh smell Of clothes just washed; The ivy on my wall, The children’s thrilled delight To wake and find the first snowfall. For robins in the springtime, And autumn’s crispy weather – For leaves that crunch, Friends in for lunch And laughter shared together. Give me enthusiasm To greet each brand new day With an honest joy in living As I go my simple way; I do not ask contentment That would ambition stay – But let me love the little things I find along the way. ----------------------------------- We are here today to celebrate a life, a good example of life, of our friend, Mrs. Belle. An example of courage to fight for your rights, and she did her best in this, she always did that and won. We can see that by looking at her family, Or by remembering how many times she was still smiling or singing at each new day. It did not matter what happened yesterday or in the hour before. She was always that way, “Say a word and I will give you the song”. At this moment we know you are here with us… And I thank you for everything you gave to me, Every moment, every kiss, every smile, every advice, And for your friendship. Thank you all for the opportunity to say goodbye to our friend. Jose Salvadore Filho April 3, 2004 ----------------------------------- AFTERGLOW By Helen Lowrie Marshall I’d like the memory of me To be a happy one. I’d like to leave an afterglow Of smiles when day is done. I’d like to leave an echo Whispering softly down the ways, Of happy times, and laughing times And bright and sunny days. I’d like the tears of those who grieve To dry before the sun Of happy memories I leave behind When day is done. ----------------------------------- Life brings us Many Blessings… Sometimes what we have lost Is really still with us… As a gift to Share with others…. Iris Werbalowsky Barten May 10, 2004